You’re Not Broken: Why You Keep Repeating the Same Patterns

By Dmitry Matveev · Founder & Lead Guide, MycoSpirit

For most of my life I have worked with people, and early on I noticed something about myself. When someone behaved destructively, I did not get angry. I put myself in their place. And slowly I understood: most people do not act from themselves. They act from a structure that formed inside them over the years.

The core and the parts

I use two simple words for this.

The core is the you that came into this world. It is a direction that comes from deep inside and does not need explaining. When you act from the core, you simply know — and do. You speak without planning the next word.

The parts are automatic reactions that formed from difficult experiences, childhood beliefs and old defenses. Once, each of them had an important job. Most of them are no longer needed, but they keep running. And they pull your energy and attention toward themselves.

The older we get, the more of these reactions we collect. Gradually a person becomes a collection of parts rather than a whole. The core is still there, but it is hard to hear.

What this looks like in real life

• You have built a life that works on the outside — career, family, money — and still feel strangely absent from it.
• You know what you should do, and you keep doing the opposite.
• The same conflict shows up with different people.
• You make decisions that feel reasonable but not like yours.

None of this means you are broken. It usually means you have spent too long living from parts instead of from yourself.

Where psilocybin fits in

In a well-prepared, guided session, many people get a direct experience of what it feels like to be themselves without the usual noise. The inner arguing quiets down. Clarity, honesty and a sense of direction come back — often surprisingly simply.

That moment is valuable, but it is only a starting point. Our work at MycoSpirit is to help you recognize that state, understand the patterns that pull you away from it, and bring it back into ordinary life through preparation and integration.

You don’t have to fight your patterns

To begin, you do not need to wage war on your programs. You only need to accept: yes, they exist. They are part of my experience. But they are not me.

And in that “not me”, a much more interesting question appears: then who am I?